ConnectingMoms: Hi Shell. This interview will have a few questions so that moms can get to know you a little better.
Shell Luba: Sounds good.
CM: OK, so we’ll start. What is a typical day in the life of Shell Luba?
SL: Wake up around 7am
° Have breakfast; watch Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer.
° Shower and change for the day.
° Mom and Makenna outdoor playtime (20-30 min, weather permitting).
° Prep and Eat Lunch
° Naptime only if she’s so whipped out – we seem to be having less and less nap time during the day. If she naps I usually check my mail and catch up on work.
° Snack time
° Mom and Makenna indoor playtime (arts and crafts, dress up, reading)
° Household chores, and prep for daddy coming home.
° Prep and Eat Dinner.
° Daddy playtime with Makenna
° Bedtime (bath/shower, story time)
° Mommy work time
° Mommy and Daddy quality time
CM: Before becoming a mother, you were a successful career woman working at a major internet company. How was the transition from briefcase to diaper bag and how did you deal with the extra time?
SL: The change from working mom to stay at home mom is a difficult transition. For me it was battle that I had to overcome because after our daughter was born I fell into the “baby blues” syndrome. It took about a good 6 months for me to really adjust to being at home and having to be the sole care giver during the weekday for an infant. I had no idea I would have a hard time being a mom since I came from a large family surrounded by kids. I remember when my husband had to go back to work after paternity leave…I just stood by the window and watched his car drive away. I looked at this little infant in my arms and said “Now what?” Whenever she cried I was on the phone with my mom or husband begging them to come back home to help me help her.
CM: How is it being a stay at home mom? Was it hard adjusting?
SL: In the beginning it was a major adjustment. But now after doing it for 2 years I’m comfortable and at ease with being a stay at home mom. Although theses days with ConnectingMoms.com up and running I tend to see myself as a work-at-home mom now. Regardless, I love being home with her and not cooped up in an office where I’d wonder what she’s doing every minute of the day. Being home allows me to really bond with my daughter. You only have one chance at their childhood so why not take advantage if you have the means to do so. I couldn’t image life without my daughter and can’t fathom not being able to see my little girl grow up and reach these miraculous milestones from infant to baby to toddler. She’s my little girlfriend, we do everything together.
CM: How did you know that you were ready to be a mom?
SL: I wasn’t read to be a mom. Truth is we were planning on starting a family in the spring of 2003, but as it turned out we actually had Makenna in July of 2003. She was meant to be - a gift from god. My husband calls her our “love child” because she was conceived around our wedding anniversary.
CM: Before giving birth, many mothers undergo all sorts of difficulties and changes in their lifestyle such as going on bed rest or not being able to eat certain foods. Did you have any such difficulties during your pregnancy?
SL: No thank god. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy, no morning sickness or bed rest. The only food I had to stay clear of was the usual ones the doctors warn against, such as uncooked eggs, raw fish, bloody meats, etc. My husband is the cook in the family so when I was pregnant he had to make sure anything he made was cooked slightly more than usual. J
CM: What has the biggest change on your body since giving birth?
SL: My mid section is my biggest change. The weight I gained during pregnancy was mostly in my belly area. I have stretch marks around my belly button. I never fully regained my old body back; it took me about a year to get back down to a weight I was okay with. Too bad there isn’t a magic pill to remove stretch marks without surgery. Another change in my body is that I have slightly larger boobs, went up a cup size! My husband and I aren’t complaining about that one! J
CM: Now that you are a mother and can fully appreciate what it means to be one, is there another mother that you would consider your role model?
SL: My own mother is my role model. Mom had 5 kids at the age of 35. I can’t imagine life with 5 kids; I’m just now ready to have my second. My mom is not only beautiful inside but out. When we were growing up everyone thought my mom looked like Wonder Woman. No joke. She’s became a stay at home mom after every child was born. God willing, I’ll be able to do the same when my next child is born.
CM: Is there a moment where you thought “Oh, now I can understand why my mom did this”?
SL: Yes, its funny when you catch yourself acting like your mother did when you were growing up or saying something mom said. The latest was when my daughter who’s very curious by nature, kept asking me “but why mommy…” over and over and over again. After the 10th time trying to explain “why” in various ways I finally said “Because I said so!”
CM: Your daughter Makenna sounds like a wonderful child. What is your favorite feature about your daughter?
SL: My favorite feature has to be her eyes. She has these wonderfully hypnotic green/blue eyes. They seem to change color depending on her mood or what she’s wearing. And her lashes are extremely long for a girl…when they are wet it looks like she has mascara on. I love looking into her eyes, there’s a delicate balance of innocence and wisdom beyond her years. Looking into her eyes is like looking into heaven. Random people as mesmerized by her eyes, it’s the first feature that people point out about her.
CM: What kind of activities do you do with Makenna?
SL: My daughter who is 2 ½ years old and I spend our week doing the following activities. One Tues and Thurs we attend Story Hour at our local library; we have arts and crafts at least twice a week where she takes old magazines and cuts out pictures that remind her of her family, she says “and this reminds me of…mommy, daddy, my uncles, mamma and papa” We then paste the pictures onto colored construction paper and create a story book. Another activity we love to do together is foam projects – I love them because they are so easy to use and she loves them because they come in all kinds of colors, shapes and themes – for holidays we create special cards for each of her loved ones. And of course we play with her toys and dress up. Right now one of her favorite activities is dancing; she’ll be starting ballet classes in the summer. In the summer time I strap her in the jogger and jog to the pool where she loves swimming.
CM: What do you do when you need a mommy time out?
SL: I go out with my girls for a much-needed Mommy Night Out! And I catch up on my reading.
CM: Are these mom friends your support group and if so, how important is it for mothers have a support group?
SL: Yes they are and it is extremely important for moms to have a support group. The best thing I did for Makenna and I was to start attending a mommy and me support group at our local hospital for 0-3 month olds. Here I met the most amazing women, most of who are still close after 2 years. There are all types of support groups out there to fit your needs, you just have to take the initiative and make the first step. I’ve never regretted asking for help. Being a new mother is a huge adjustment on you and the baby. Its only smart to take advantage of the wonderful support groups that allow you to express your feelings with others that are going through the exact same thing as you. Its hard at first to admit you need help or aren’t the know it all mom. Nobody is, nobody has all the answers but in time you’ll have a support group of your own to share ideas, thoughts and feelings with. They become your extended lifelines. Join or create your very own group to help mothers in need.
CM: What is your favorite store to shop for your Makenna? Yourself?
SL: I like to shop for both of us at H&M, Old Navy and Target. In addition I like to shop at the Disney Store for her and for me I also like Victoria Secret and Bath and Body Works.
CM: Makenna is an only child, correct? Do you plan on having any more children?
SL: Yes she is and I would love to have more children. I’ve always pictured my life with 2-3 kids. I would love to give Makenna a brother or sister. I think she would make a wonderful big sister.
CM: What is the most rewarding part of being a mother?
SL: Watching your baby grow into a little person. Its amazing the transformation from infant to baby and baby to toddler.
CM: What has been the most challenging part of being a mother?
SL: The balancing act between being a mother and a wife. Not to mention finding time for me.
CM: If you could pass down anything to your daughter, what would it be?
SL: A family heirloom – it’s a small diamond ring. The diamond was originally a pin that my great-grandfather wore in WWI. He made it into a diamond ring to give to his first grandchild – my mother, when she was 12 years old. My mom passed it on to me on my 12th birthday. I wore it on my left ring finger until I was engaged. I will be passing this ring on to my daughter on her 12th birthday.
CM: That’s very special. We’re sure Makenna will treasure it as much as you have. Well, now it’s time for our final question. As a new mother yourself, what is one word of advice that you would give to other new mothers?
SL: Patience! You know the cliché Patience is a Virtue. It’s true. Mothers have to have tons of patience. Another is to talk to your kids like little adults from day one. Talk out loud about things you do around the house on a daily basis. Its amazing how quickly their speech develops. Makenna was talking in full sentences at 11 months.
CM: Thank you Shell for this interview.
SL: It’s been my pleasure.
