CM: That's wonderful. What is your favorite feature? Have you been able to meet other moms on our site?
Sandy: My favorite feature to the site has been the Discussions by far. It’s so great to read what other moms have to say. I’ve learned a few things, and I love to post my insight where I can. I have met a few other moms on the site, and I hope to meet many more.

CM: In your Vitals and Mom Likes profile, it states you’re a married mother of one, and a Miami native now working in San Diego as a Registered Neonatal ICU Nurse. I think other moms would agree that your line of work is a fantastic and much needed profession. Did your job impact your feelings of having a child?
Sandy: Thank you and yes, this specialty of nursing is becoming more and more prevalent; Especially with the growing number of women having multiples and the use of fertility treatments. My profession definitely impacted my thoughts and desires in having children. After seeing this population each day (approx 10% of the infant population requires a visit to the NICU), I became even more terrified of having children. The only thing I was exposed to were premature or handicapped infants. I had a very skewed image of what "normal" infants and pregnancies were like. Everyday I would see these poor new mothers and fathers come and visit their very sick babies. I had it drilled into my head that the same would happen to me and my unborn child. After meeting my husband, the fears remained, but wanted to have children with him one day (that’s how I knew he was the one!).  

CM: How long have you been living in San Diego and why the move from Miami?
Sandy: I’ve been living in San Diego for nearly 4 years now. I came out here as a Traveling Nurse. I was contracted out to the Childrens Hospital of San Diego to work in their NICU for 3 months working the graveyard shift. While on assignment I met my husband in San Diego, and there was no turning back. 

CM: As a neonatal nurse you had an advantage above other expectant moms in that you had hands on experience with infants and knew what to expect. 
That being the case, were you fairly confident about becoming a mother? Was it second nature for you to adjust to motherhood when Ella was born?
Sandy: The old saying holds true in this case "Ignorance is bliss". Knowing and seeing all the things I have in my career made things very difficult during pregnancy. I remember counting down each week as such a major milestone for us to reach. Working in the NICU, the majority of my experience lies within very tiny premature infants, so when I had an eight pound full-term baby girl, I was a little out of my element as far as hands on stuff; but as far as what to expect with newborns, I feel I did have an advantage. For instance, I knew all the tricks on how to Breastfeed, when was an appropriate time to start introducing a bottle, how many pee and poo diapers were normal, etc. 

CM: What has been the hardest thing to adjust to since becoming a mom?
Sandy: No question about it, FREEDOM. No matter how much you are warned, and no matter how much I saw it lost from other mothers, I didn’t fully comprehend it until after becoming a mother myself. Forget going to the movies with your husband, or eating out at restaurants that require you to sit down at a table, all that hasn’t happened for quite some time. I am home all week while my husband is at work. He arrives home after 7pm, so I get a break from the daily baby grind for about 1 hour. During the day, I always have her with me. Let’s just say, I’m guilty of having a "neglet-o-saucer" (exersaucer) just to use the bathroom without her! 

CM: What is something that you now think, Ah Ha! Now I understand why my mom did that?
Sandy: My mother NEVER let us have any pets growing up. Now I understand why. Children are enough work! Having a dog and an eight month old is like have 3 kids (baby, dog, husband ;))

CM: When Ella was born did you have your family with you? Did anyone stay with you to help with the newborn?
Sandy: While Ella was being born, I did not have any of my family with me. It was only me and my husband in the hospital. After 2 weeks, my mother and grandmother flew out here to stay with us for 3 weeks. They were a tremendous help for us because my husband went back to work after the first 2 weeks. My mother was still on east coast time, so she was able to do 4-6am feedings for me everyday. She also did most of the cooking for us during that time, and it was just such a joy to have them around holding Ella. It was 4 generations of women in one house. Pretty awesome! 

CM: Did you join a mommy’s group after Ella was born? If so, are you still close with those mommy friends?
Sandy: I am still trying to find a mommy group out here. I have joined a parent organization that pairs you up with other mothers with children in the same age group, but I haven’t really found a set of moms I’ve connected with yet. That’s why I was so excited to join ConnectingMoms.com so that I can find and talk to other moms no matter where they are.  

CM: What do you do when you need a mommy time out?
Sandy: When I’m all alone, it gets tricky. I try to do a bit of reading or interneting while she takes her naps in the day.  

CM: Are you back at work full time? If so, who takes care of Ella? How did you prepare your child and yourself for returning to work?
Sandy: I am not working full time. I work on the weekends so that my husband can watch her. The first time I returned to work, I started dreading the day about 2 weeks before it came. I remember lying in bed at night crying my eyes out thinking what it was going to be like without her there. I was terrified she was not going to eat because I wasn’t there to breastfeed her. Or she wouldn’t sleep because I wasn’t holding her. I think the only preparation I did was leaving her with my husband for a few hours at a time on the weekends. I would leave her with him while I went to the grocery store, hair dresser, etc.  

CM: What’s the first thing you do with Ella when you come home from work?
Sandy: I don’t get home from work until around midnight, so she’s asleep; but the first time few times I went back to work, I picked her up and held her in my arms and kissed her while she was asleep. Now, I leave her in bed, but still kiss her goodnight.  

CM: Now that Ella is 8 months old, do you feel like you’ve gained more confidence as a mother?
Sandy: After all this time, I don’t feel more confident as a mother. Babies change so much in the first year it’s amazing. She’s accomplishing new feats each week! Just when I thought I had a good schedule or method of doing something, she changes her demands. It’s hard for me to not second guess myself with her upbringing. There is so much conflicting information and methodologies out there, I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing. Over time I think the best way for me to be a mother is to do what "I" feel comfortable doing for my child.  

CM: 8 months is a great age for babies. Can you tell us what major milestone(s) she’s accomplished?
Sandy: At 6 months we started solids, popped out 2 teeth, and was sitting upright well.
At 7 months she started crawling and says "mama".
At 8 months she’s trying her hardest to pull herself up. 

CM: Can you name one of the funniest things your daughter has done recently?
Sandy: She has learned how to pet our dog Pete, and she’ll look at me and giggle when she runs her fingers through his hair.

CM: How do you bond with your baby? Do you sing? Do you read?
Sandy: We sing, read, and I’ll give her an infant massage.  

CM: Can you describe your typical bedtime routine?
Sandy: 7:45PM - bath and massage. At 8:30PM - teeth brushing then I will rock her in my arms briefly as I say goodnight, give her special blanket and put in her crib.

CM: Congratulations on getting Ella to sleep early, keep up the good work! Do you plan on having any more children?
Sandy: No plans yet. I still remember pregnancy and labor too well. Every time I see a pregnant woman at work, it all comes back. My husband and I would like to have more children (maybe just one more), but time will tell us when the time is right. We both agree that having extended family around for our children is important and we are alone in San Diego. Hopefully one day we will be able to move closer to relatives.

CM: For those of us with inquiring minds, what sort of difficulties did you experience during your pregnancy and labor? How did you manage to cope with them?
Sandy: During pregnancy I was working in the NICU until around 5 months when I started premature contractions. I was on my feet all day and didn't have much time to drink water or eat (which was the worst!). Many nurses will admit that we all probably have the largest bladder capacities in the world because we just get accustomed to holding it while working. You just get so busy you forget and you keep saying to yourself "I’ll go after I do this." But you never do. And unfortunately for me doing things like this were very dangerous while being pregnant.

Also during my pregnancy, I found that whatever my baby's gestation was in weeks, we ended up having a patient in our unit at the same age. So when I was 27 weeks pregnant, I had a 27-week-old patient. It was just terribly frightening to see in an incubator an infant the same age as my own alive but needing so much medical support outside of the womb. I would compare the infant's size to how large my belly was and think, ‘yes, she's about that size in there’. And after getting to know these parents personally each day, I find out that most of these women did nothing wrong. They did everything right during their pregnancy, but was still dealt this horrific card of fate.

My entire perspective on my career changed during pregnancy. That is what I truly had the most difficult time with. The only things that helped me through this difficult time were my co-workers. They made sure to tell me their own stories of how wonderful their experiences were when they were pregnant, and how all their children came out fine. After my scare, they were saints and made sure I took breaks and drank lots of fluids.

As for labor, I think every woman recovers differently and at different rates. Many mothers need cesareans but seeing first hand how difficult the recovery can be for many women I was overwhelmed with fear of having one myself. It wasn’t until my doctor reassured me that I would not need one, that I was finally able to handle labor much better.

CM: I'm glad to hear in the end that your fears were put to rest and you delivered a healthy baby girl. During labor, can you tell us what was the sweetest or the silliest thing your husband did while you were in labor?
Sandy: HA! Something sweet huh? I have NOTHING sweet to say about him. The silliest thing? Well, I have something more along the lines of cruel. I was a borderline gestational diabetic and hadn't had any carbs for months. After being admitted for having my water broke and contractions every 10 minutes, I wasn't allowed any food, just ice chips. So here comes in my loving husband with a SLICE OF PIZZA into my delivery room! The entire place smelled of melted mozzarella and toasty bread. He was lucky there were no surgical instruments handy. Well, even the nurses made a comment and asked him, "how could you do that to your wife?"

CM: That’s a great story to tell Ella when she gets older! Luckily for your husband he made it out in one piece.
As we all know May is the month we celebrate MOTHER'S DAY. It’s our one-day of the year moms get lavished with gifts of gratitude, get to sleep in late, get breakfast in bed and have well behaved kids all day long. Okay, I should stop dreaming. 
In all seriousness, Sandy, what is the one gift you would like to receive for Mother's Day? And do you have any plans that you’re aware of?  
Sandy: My Mother's Day gift would be for Ella to give me one whole night of not waking up. I do not have any plans for Mother’s Day that I know of.